I always get my way. Don’t you?

I always get my way. Don’t you?

Of course I don’t! Not getting our way is just part of life. It’s something we learn very early in our time on this earth. So the question is not just whether you get your way or not … it’s what you do when you don’t and what you do when you do.

For example, when was the last time you heard a donor say, “Yes”? Whether it was for $25 in a direct mail piece or $100,000 in a major gift ask, I’ll bet it made you smile. After that, you probably called or wrote to thank the donor, and maybe you told someone else. All good, normal things to do.

But the real test … what happened when they said, “No”? Did you stamp your feet and melt into a puddle of tears? Probably not. Maybe you sulked for a bit and commiserated with a colleague. That’s okay. But how did you respond to the donor? Did you ignore them in spite, or did you send a nice letter telling them that while you were disappointed, you understand and wish them well? It makes a difference … to them and to you.

How is this a career move? Just like asking for funds is a great model for a job search, not getting a gift is a great model for reacting to not getting a job.

Yes, it will happen. In fact, since only one person ultimately ends up with the job, you’ll probably have more “noes” than “yeses.” How you react, not just to the employer, but to yourself, is critical to your chances to win the next opportunity.